Sex life? What sex life? You’re a parent and life is so hectic that you hardly have time to think about your own needs, not to mention do anything about satisfying them. It can seem like your own needs do not matter, it’s the children that have leading concern and you need to do whatever it takes to take care of them. Don’t be deceived, your needs are important and neglecting them isn’t helpful for anybody, not you, not your partner and absolutely not your children. Sure you can’t do all the things you did prior to children, life has changed and pleasure is available in different methods. However you are still an adult with adult requirements and for you to feel fulfilled they need to be satisfied.
So how do you find time and energy for sex when there are numerous other things requiring your attention? It takes a bit more preparation and effort than in the past but you need to tell yourself that it can take place and it is absolutely worth it.
What if you do not want anybody touching you after having kids crawling all over you all day? Some people have a ratio for the amount of physical contact they require and can easily accommodate in a day. However if you consider it kids touch you differently to how your partner touches you and for the most part, it’s all take.
How do you have more sex? Okay, how do you have any sex?
Feeding the children rapidly ends up being a priority when you have bothersome kids at your feet. Make your desires like that and don’t let up until you have got what you require.
2. Find a time that works. It might be early in the early morning prior to the children get up, it might be right away after they’ve gone to bed neglecting the dishes and the cleaning up and washing up, it might be during the day while the kids are viewing a video. You need to make time for each other.
3. Do some things that make you think about sex. It can be hard to switch your brain from babyland to sex so you might require a little aid. View a sexy film, checked out sensual fiction together, write your partner a hot note, reflect to a time when you had fantastic sex (c’mon you can do that, it can’t be that long, definitely, you have kids afterall!), relive how excellent it felt.
4. Take a shower together. There is something about getting naked and wet together that can be really sexual.
5. Anticipate disruptions and don’t be postponed. OK you begin kissing and you hear an infant cry. You try to ignore it but you can’t. So you go off and tend to them and then believe the minute is gone. But it isn’t. And if it is then get it back by viewing the interruption as a diversion which has increased your hunger for sex not soured it.
When you have actually been together some time it’s simple to fall into habits, like falling into a deep sleep as quickly as your head touches the pillow, and sometimes it’s those habits that you need to break in order to kickstart your sex life. Sex can occur anywhere so make usage of the spaces you have.
And the most crucial thing you need to do– don’t offer up! Know that your needs are crucial and you will work better when they have actually been met.